A Different Take on the Twelve Days of Christmas

Christmas carols play merrily on the radio and in all the stores, not to mention in my head almost continuously! As I was listening to the “Twelve Days of Christmas” for the umpteenth time, I thought about taking a new spin on an old favorite.Do you know someone who could use their spirits lifted? The holidays are not always a joyful time for someone who is lonely or overworked. Perhaps it is an elderly neighbor? Or maybe a newly divorced friend? What about that single parent who is struggling to hold it together? I think it would be safe to say that we all know someone who could use a little tender loving care. Consider participating in this Secret Santa exercise as a means to spread good cheer.

For the 12 days of Christmas, drop off a small token of Christmas cheer anonymously. No, I’m not talking about hens, or turtledoves, or even lords a leaping...

Here is a list of ideas:

A table sized Christmas tree

A holiday scented soap

A holiday scented lotion

A bottle of wine or sparkling cider

A small box of chocolates

A homemade treat

A small Christmas decoration

A holiday scented candle

A bag of freshly ground coffee or box of herbal tea

A gift card for a coffee

A gingerbread house kit

A CD of holiday music

Now it may seem like you are helping to raise the spirits of someone in need … and you are. But truly that is not the only end product. You too, will feel blessed. It is invigorating to shop for little special somethings for someone you know will value them. Dropping them off in secret gets the blood flowing. And if you are lucky enough to see or hear the reactions of the recipient, your heart will swell with happiness. AskDrShook would love to hear if you give this version of the “Twelve Days of Christmas” a try. Please leave a comment and tell me how it went.

A Holiday Survival Guide for the Newly Divorced

Divorce – you’ve got company. In fact you are part of the 19 million divorced adults in this country alone. But although the statistics say you aren’t alone, the loneliness you feel during the holidays begs to differ. The holidays can be a painful time when experiencing the sadness associated with divorce.

Here are a few tips from AskDrShook to help you ease the sting of the festivities.

1. Chart the Course: Look for and plan activities that are fun, relaxing, and stress reducing with friends who bring a smile to your face.



2. Respect Past Traditions: If you and your kids always spent Christmas Eve with your ex-spouse’s parents, let your kids continue this even though it means you won’t be included. Although tough on you, placing the priority on your children is a win-win.



3. Create New Traditions: Your imagination is your only limitation on this one.



4. Engage the Support System: Surround yourself with friends and other family members and don’t isolate yourself. Spend time with people who are invested in helping you get the most out of life.



5. Alone days – You won't be able to avoid them so consider volunteering for a charity, schedule a spa day, read that book you haven’t had time for, jump into a home project you have been putting off (painting a room, refinish a table), start a hobby…



6. Take Care of Yourself: Now is not the time to drown yourself in holiday fudge or self-medicate with adult beverages. It may feel great while you are indulging, but will cause more problems in the long run.



7. Don’t Give into your Inner Scrooge: Just because you are alone doesn’t mean you can’t have a tree, bake holiday cookies, or decorate. Hang that stocking from the chimney with care.



8. Be Realistic: There is no such thing as a “perfect” holiday. Examine your own expectations and dial them down a notch or perhaps two.
   

When it comes to navigating the holiday season after a divorce, balance is the key. Stress and negative feelings are bound to surface, so making time to do the activities you enjoy is essential. Put forth your best effort to relax and celebrate to the best of your abilities.

Ask Dr Shook offers practical advice and information on regaining your life after a divorce in the Divorce Recovery Specialty Track.

Tools to Help You Parent Your Teen

I'm so excited to launch my online Life Coaching Website! Rather than a traditional blog this morning, I want to introduce to you what to expect from just one of my specialty tracts - OMGosh Teens!

OMGosh Teens Life Coaching Podcast 1- Teen Issues in Today’s World
Teens today face many rough situations that most parents don’t know anything about. Listening and providing a safe environment for them is very important to get them though these hard years. Communicate and set a good example of the adult you want them to become. Learn how to listen and communicate with your teen to promote a healthy relationship.

OMGosh Teens Life Coaching Podcast 2- Teen Friendships and Identity
Friendship and style changes happen frequently in high school. Knowing what your teen is doing with their friends and saying online is critical. Always be willing to help promote healthy and quality friendships. Learn how to regulate but also be accepting of your teen’s style and friends.

OMGosh Teens Life Coaching Podcast 3- Drugs & Alcohol Use and Abuse
Drinking, cigarettes, and drugs are more popular than ever for high school students. Talking to your teen about it is the best thing you can do. Learn the obvious signs of alcohol or drug abuse and how to open up to your teen about it.

OMGosh Teens Life Coaching Podcast 4- Values and Priorities
Teaching your teen about values and priorities is necessary now and throughout their lives. Quality time with family is a small way to make a big difference in your teen’s life. Learn how to communicate and be positive to reinforce your relationship.

OMGosh Teens Life Coaching Podcast 5- Mental Health Issues
Sex and addictions are vital to talk to your teen about. Boundaries are an important thing to discuss to prevent bad habits. Mental disorders develop during teenage years; your teen could be struggling more than you think. Learn the signs of mental disorders and addictions for your teen and how to approach your teen about it.

OMGosh Teens Life Coaching Podcast 6- Talking to Your Teen and Setting Goals
Setting goals can be very meaningful to your teen. Be a good example and positive influence in their life. Making good decisions for yourself shows your teen how to make better decisions for themselves. God has big plans for you and your teen’s lives. Learn how to discuss and be supportive of your teen’s goals.

OMGosh Teens Life Coaching Podcast 7- Money, Discipline, and Step Parenting
Teens have a hard time being wise with money and discussing it with them is important. Discipline and positive reinforcement can help your children learn from their life experiences. Step parenting is hard, especially with teens, so having the right approach is vital. Learn how to communicate better with your teen about money and finances, discipline, and how to be a better stepparent.

Downloadable Materials
OMGosh Teen Life Coaching Workbook- Includes Outline and Questions for Each Podcast
Teen Driving Contract
Teen Dating Contract
Your Teen Is Turning 18…
Assessing Your Teen’s Alcohol and Drug Use
What To Do If Your Child is Being Bullied
What To Do If You Suspect/Discover Your Child Is A Bully
Out of Home Treatment Options- Analysis of Different Options
Promoting Volunteerism In Teens

Book Referral List
Website Referral List

Take a look at my other specialty tracts on AskDrShook.com and let me know what you think. Any other topics you would like to see me cover?