Thursday, January 6, 2011

Top Ten New Year Resolutions


Ahhh, the time of year when we make our New Year's Resolution with anticipation of a fresh start, only to discard them before the month's end. So what's the difference between a resolution and a goal?


Resolution: a resolve or determination

Goal: the result or achievement toward which effort is directed; aim; end.

Let Ask Dr. Shook help you refine the resolutions that will help you reach your goals!

We found this Top Ten New Year Resolution list and thought it of interest to share with you. How many of your resolutions are here?

1. Lose Weight and Get in Better Physical Shape

Physical activity builds physical vitality. With every year of your life, you have more to gain from being physically active; as your age-related risks of chronic disease increase, regular exercise generally slows or reverses that trend.

In fact, you're even more likely to notice the benefits of regular exercise if you already have a chronic condition.

Are you ever going to be fit again as long as you live? The answer is unless you make a resolution to get fit – you’re never going to be fit – ever. The choice is yours; it begins by opting for the stairs instead of the elevator, fruit in place of chocolate, and active rather than sedentary activities.

2. Stick to a Budget

It’s been said that the best defense is a good offense. Developing and sticking to a realistic budget is a brilliant offensive move as it prevents overspending and ensures peace of mind.
Many people find it very difficult to stick to a budget. It does take hard work and a lot of self-discipline, at least in the beginning. The good news is that most people find the longer they can stick to a budget, the easier it becomes.

3. Debt Reduction

One of the first things you have to do before any debt can be eliminated is to stop using charge accounts. If you continue to use the accounts, you are only fueling the problem, and building on it, not solving it.

Make a resolution now to stop charging anything and to get financially stable. If you can't pay cash for it, you don't need it, make it just that simple and you will find yourself out of debt in no time at all.

Keep a diary of all money spent, whether it is by cash, check, credit card, etc. Once you know where your money is going, then, and only then, can you take the steps needed to prepare a good budget that you can live with and make huge strides to budgeting your debt away.

4. Enjoy More Quality Time with Family & Friends

More and more people are resolving to spend more quality time with family and friends this year. This means you must consciously decide to actively and purposely work on improving your family situation every day.

You may need to do such things as reschedule business activities to make time for your kids, help your children set and achieve worthwhile goals, and setting aside an hour a day for the family, every day.

Starting right now, you can begin to make choices and take day-to-day actions that will create nothing short of a phenomenal family. You can choose to have one if you just resolve to do it and know where to put your focus. Making our families stronger and healthier is important to our communities, our state and our world.

Romance is alive and well as more and more people are looking for that special someone, their soul mate who lights their fire, the ONE whom they love unequivocally and who shares their worldview.

Soul mate relationships are the sort of romantic relationships most of us dreamt of when we were young and innocent: loving and erotic, committed and inspiring and best of all - lasting.
Soul mate relationships give both partners the fulfillment that deeply satisfies them and makes them feel that they have found the most wonderful person in the whole universe.

6. Quit Smoking

Becoming a non-smoker is probably one of the best decisions you can ever make, and is a life changing as well as a life saving decision.

The benefits to your health, relationships, finances, vitality, the environment and to your sense of self-esteem for having conquered a really hard-to-kick habit will make any and all of your efforts and determination more than worth while. The resolution to become a non-smoker will also help you to live longer and enjoy the finer things in life.

Once you’ve made the resolution to stop, acted upon it and succeeded, you'll feel great about what you have achieved. Resolving to give up is your decision, and will improve your life from that moment on. No one can make you quit, and no one can help you make the resolution. You have to do it yourself, you have to want to do it, and you need to do it now!

A new year provides a sense of getting a free do-over, so you can try again and get it right. Many people resolve to find better jobs or to take a new approach to the jobs they've already got.
It's corny, but true -- most of us get reflective at this time of year and if we are in jobs already, we begin thinking: Am I on the right path? Do I like where my position and my company are headed? Am I even in the right career?

So you've been hearing that voice again, the one that says you're not doing what you were born to do. That may be true, but how do you figure out what you should be doing?
To begin answering this question, examine whether your current career path matches your core interests, beliefs, values, needs and skills. Resolve to ask and answer those essential questions before making any new career changes.

8. Learn Something New

People throughout the world are realizing that a strong resolve to lifelong learning is more than just education and training beyond formal schooling. A lifelong learning framework encompasses learning throughout the life cycle, from cradle to grave and in different learning environments, formal, non-formal and informal.

Perhaps you are considering a career change, want to learn a new language or musical instrument, or just how to become a better cook? Whether you take a course or read a book, you'll find education to be one of the easiest, most motivating and beneficial resolutions to keep. Challenge your mind in the coming year, break out of currents routines and challenge every comfort zone and watch your horizons expand.

9. Volunteer and Help Others

A popular, non-selfish New Year's resolution, volunteerism can take many forms such as spending time helping out at your local library, mentoring a child, or building a house to name a few.

Volunteering has risen sharply in the years since we began collecting resolutions. This suggests the possible emergence of a new civic generation and a resolve to make a bigger and better difference with your life.

Resolve to replace the pursuit of success and materialism with the pursuit of contribution and generosity. For this to occur, the critical question must move from, “How can I become successful?” to, “What can I contribute that will significantly impact other people's lives?” By focusing on what we can contribute, we automatically become successful.

10. Get Organized

Resolve this year to plan your days, reduce interruptions, clean off your desk, say "No", and make detailed lists. The benefits of getting more organized include being able to save time, as you no longer look for the same things over and over again or need to replace things you can’t find at all.

You will reduce stress because when you know where everything is, there’s no last-minute rush to find what you need and get out the door on time for school, soccer practice, or that important business meeting.

You will also find yourself being much more productive, as all the time you once spent looking for things can now be used to do more important or more enjoyable tasks.

Most people define being organized as quickly and easily able to find what you need. While this is certainly true, organization is so much more. The ability to staying organized lets you focus on accomplishing your most important goals. That’s the true benefit of being organized.

Reprint Policy: You can freely reprint this material with the following reference source:
Gary Ryan Blair is the inspiration behind New Year's Resolution Week. This annual event was founded on the premise, that a single resolution can positively and profoundly create lasting change in your life and help to make the world a better place. To become part of the world's largest personal change initiative, visit http://www.goalsguy.com/.

Friday, December 10, 2010

A Different Take on the Twelve Days of Christmas


Christmas carols play merrily on the radio and in all the stores, not to mention in my head almost continuously! As I was listening to the “Twelve Days of Christmas” for the umpteenth time, I thought about taking a new spin on an old favorite.Do you know someone who could use their spirits lifted? The holidays are not always a joyful time for someone who is lonely or overworked. Perhaps it is an elderly neighbor? Or maybe a newly divorced friend? What about that single parent who is struggling to hold it together? I think it would be safe to say that we all know someone who could use a little tender loving care. Consider participating in this Secret Santa exercise as a means to spread good cheer.

For the 12 days of Christmas, drop off a small token of Christmas cheer anonymously. No, I’m not talking about hens, or turtledoves, or even lords a leaping...

Here is a list of ideas:

A table sized Christmas tree

A holiday scented soap

A holiday scented lotion

A bottle of wine or sparkling cider

A small box of chocolates

A homemade treat

A small Christmas decoration

A holiday scented candle

A bag of freshly ground coffee or box of herbal tea

A gift card for a coffee
A gingerbread house kit

A CD of holiday music

Now it may seem like you are helping to raise the spirits of someone in need … and you are. But truly that is not the only end product. You too, will feel blessed. It is invigorating to shop for little special somethings for someone you know will value them. Dropping them off in secret gets the blood flowing. And if you are lucky enough to see or hear the reactions of the recipient, your heart will swell with happiness. AskDrShook would love to hear if you give this version of the “Twelve Days of Christmas” a try. Please leave a comment and tell me how it went.

Monday, December 6, 2010

A Holiday Survival Guide for the Newly Divorced




Divorce – you’ve got company. In fact you are part of the 19 million divorced adults in this country alone. But although the statistics say you aren’t alone, the loneliness you feel during the holidays begs to differ. The holidays can be a painful time when experiencing the sadness associated with divorce.

Here are a few tips from AskDrShook to help you ease the sting of the festivities.

  1. Chart the Course: Look for and plan activities that are fun, relaxing, and stress reducing with friends who bring a smile to your face.


  2. Respect Past Traditions: If you and your kids always spent Christmas Eve with your ex-spouse’s parents, let your kids continue this even though it means you won’t be included. Although tough on you, placing the priority on your children is a win-win.


  3. Create New Traditions: Your imagination is your only limitation on this one.


  4. Engage the Support System: Surround yourself with friends and other family members and don’t isolate yourself. Spend time with people who are invested in helping you get the most out of life.


  5. Alone days – You won't be able to avoid them so consider volunteering for a charity, schedule a spa day, read that book you haven’t had time for, jump into a home project you have been putting off (painting a room, refinish a table), start a hobby…


  6. Take Care of Yourself: Now is not the time to drown yourself in holiday fudge or self-medicate with adult beverages. It may feel great while you are indulging, but will cause more problems in the long run.


  7. Don’t Give into your Inner Scrooge: Just because you are alone doesn’t mean you can’t have a tree, bake holiday cookies, or decorate. Hang that stocking from the chimney with care.


  8. Be Realistic: There is no such thing as a “perfect” holiday. Examine your own expectations and dial them down a notch or perhaps two.

When it comes to navigating the holiday season after a divorce, balance is the key. Stress and negative feelings are bound to surface, so making time to do the activities you enjoy is essential. Put forth your best effort to relax and celebrate to the best of your abilities.

Ask Dr Shook offers practical advice and information on regaining your life after a divorce in the Divorce Recovery Specialty Track.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Tools to Help You Parent Your Teen



I'm so excited to launch my online Life Coaching Website! Rather than a traditional blog this morning, I want to introduce to you what to expect from just one of my specialty tracts - OMGosh Teens!


OMGosh Teens Life Coaching Podcast 1- Teen Issues in Today’s World
Teens today face many rough situations that most parents don’t know anything about. Listening and providing a safe environment for them is very important to get them though these hard years. Communicate and set a good example of the adult you want them to become. Learn how to listen and communicate with your teen to promote a healthy relationship.


OMGosh Teens Life Coaching Podcast 2- Teen Friendships and Identity
Friendship and style changes happen frequently in high school. Knowing what your teen is doing with their friends and saying online is critical. Always be willing to help promote healthy and quality friendships. Learn how to regulate but also be accepting of your teen’s style and friends.


OMGosh Teens Life Coaching Podcast 3- Drugs & Alcohol Use and Abuse
Drinking, cigarettes, and drugs are more popular than ever for high school students. Talking to your teen about it is the best thing you can do. Learn the obvious signs of alcohol or drug abuse and how to open up to your teen about it.


OMGosh Teens Life Coaching Podcast 4- Values and Priorities
Teaching your teen about values and priorities is necessary now and throughout their lives. Quality time with family is a small way to make a big difference in your teen’s life. Learn how to communicate and be positive to reinforce your relationship.


OMGosh Teens Life Coaching Podcast 5- Mental Health Issues
Sex and addictions are vital to talk to your teen about. Boundaries are an important thing to discuss to prevent bad habits. Mental disorders develop during teenage years; your teen could be struggling more than you think. Learn the signs of mental disorders and addictions for your teen and how to approach your teen about it.


OMGosh Teens Life Coaching Podcast 6- Talking to Your Teen and Setting Goals
Setting goals can be very meaningful to your teen. Be a good example and positive influence in their life. Making good decisions for yourself shows your teen how to make better decisions for themselves. God has big plans for you and your teen’s lives. Learn how to discuss and be supportive of your teen’s goals.


OMGosh Teens Life Coaching Podcast 7- Money, Discipline, and Step Parenting
Teens have a hard time being wise with money and discussing it with them is important. Discipline and positive reinforcement can help your children learn from their life experiences. Step parenting is hard, especially with teens, so having the right approach is vital. Learn how to communicate better with your teen about money and finances, discipline, and how to be a better stepparent.


Downloadable Materials
OMGosh Teen Life Coaching Workbook- Includes Outline and Questions for Each Podcast
Teen Driving Contract
Teen Dating Contract
Your Teen Is Turning 18…
Assessing Your Teen’s Alcohol and Drug Use
What To Do If Your Child is Being Bullied
What To Do If You Suspect/Discover Your Child Is A Bully
Out of Home Treatment Options- Analysis of Different Options
Promoting Volunteerism In Teens

Book Referral List
Website Referral List


Take a look at my other specialty tracts on AskDrShook.com and let me know what you think. Any other topics you would like to see me cover?

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Counting your Blessings



As Thanksgiving approaches, are you thinking about your blessings?



A 2003 study suggests that people who count their blessings are generally happier and healthier than people who don't (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology).



It may be as easy as taking time each day to note that day’s moment of gratefulness. Many facebook users publicize their blessings daily in the month of November. Some are quite poetic recounting the importance of family. Others, it appears are searching for something to say and may just end up being thankful for a cup of hot coffee. But that’s the point really. Even in the worst of days, we can find something that we appreciate. And it is that practice of looking for the good in the midst of bad, that we learn to have a positive outlook on life.


Today’s call to action is to identify one (or more) blessings in your life and to do so each day until Thanksgiving. Whether you use Facebook or a personal journal to chronicle them, challenge yourself to take a look at your life and be grateful for what you have. And if you are so inclined, don’t stop at Thanksgiving. Make it a daily ritual to count your blessings; you will feel blessed in return.


Ask Dr Shook will be sharing meaning quotes each day to inspire you in your quest to discover your blessings.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Seven Tips to Break the Cycle of Emotional Eating


See if you recognize this cycle: Emotional eating leads to poor food choices. These poor choices lead to feeling bad about ourselves. Feeling bad about ourselves leads to more poor food choices. So destructive, isn't it. Let’s take a look at how to combat a common emotion such as stress with good nutrition and break that nasty cycle.

Eat Breakfast: Skipping breakfast is the worst decision you can make. Breakfast jump-starts your metabolism and produces enzymes needed to metabolize fat to lose weight. It also helps to maintain stable blood sugar which helps to maintain stable emotions.

Replace Coffee with Green Tea: If you’re a coffee junkie, you may not realize that if you ingest high levels of caffeine, your mood will soar only to then plummet, leaving you craving more caffeine to make it soar again, causing you to lose sleep, suffer health consequences and, of course, feel more stress. Green tea (decaffeinated) is full of antioxidant and free-radical scavenging properties making it a must-have for the health conscious.

Sparkling Water: If you’re a soda drinker, you’re adding caffeine, sugar, or if you are a diet soda fan, artificial sweetener to your body everyday with negative consequences. Water on its own may not feel like the treat you crave so that is where sparkling water comes in. Water is good for your health, your skin, helps to prevent headaches and has the added benefit of helping you to feel full thus helping you to resist treats.

Healthy Snacks: A baggie full of carrot sticks, pretzels, apple slices, or almonds can help you deal with the times of the day when you have the munchies. By having healthy foods readily available on which to snack will help you to resist going in search of something less healthy to deal with your cravings.

Brown Bag It: Portions in restaurants are notoriously large and it is so tough to opt for steamed veggies when french fries are available. Bringing your own lunch is a sure fire way to keep nutritionally conscious. And it still gives you time to take a walk around the block perhaps?

No Caffeine After 2pm: Caffeine consumed with dinner can interfere with your sleep at night. Lack of sleep slows down your metabolism leaving you feeling sluggish.

Stock Your Pantry and Refrigerator with Healthy Choices: Plan a menu of healthy meals and snacks at the beginning of each week, list the ingredients you’ll need, and shop for everything once a week. That way you know you’ll have what you want when you need it, and you won’t have to stress over what to eat each night; you’ll already have thought of it! Keep cookies and treats at a minimum so you won’t have temptations staring at you each time you open the cupboard.

Ask Dr Shook takes a look at emotional eating, food as an addiction, exercise, nutrition, as well as review of many popular diet plans in her specialty track entitled: Change Your Relationship with Food…Change Your Life. Healthy diets are out partner in combating the stress in everyday life. It's time to put an end to self-sabotaging behaviors!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Tips for Talking to Teens


"You never listen to me!" Most parents can readily say they have been the recipient of this accusation on more than one occasion. But communication between parents and teens can work and is something for which to strive. AskDrShook offers these tips and more with the OMGosh Teens Specialty Track:


Be Available


  • Notice times when your teens are most likely to talk--for example, at bedtime, before dinner, in the car--and seize the moment. Don’t discount that some of the most rewarding conversations happen spontaneously. The trick is to be alert.

  • Start the conversation. When they get home from school, ask them about their day. Yes, they will probably just say "it was okay" and no back and forth conversation will ensue, but it still lets your kids know you care about what's happening in their lives.

  • Find time each week for a one-on-one activity with each child, and avoid scheduling other
    activities during that time. It doesn’t have to be elaborate, or expensive; it’s the time together that counts.

  • Learn about your children's interests--for example, favorite music and activities--and show interest in them while at the same time respecting their privacy. A parent’s over interest in their world can be a “deal breaker”.

  • Don’t start conversations with a question. That puts them on the spot. Start instead by sharing what you have been thinking about.

Listen and Respond

  • Make a rule to listen to everything because when your teen knows you are listening to the little stuff, their faith that you will listen to big stuff as well increases.

  • Listen to their point of view even if it's difficult to hear and focus on their feelings instead
    of your own. There will be time for your feelings later.

  • Let them complete their point before you respond and don't interrupt. In a national survey, more than half the children said that when they talked, their parents often didn't give them a chance to explain themselves. What a frustrating feeling!

  • Talk to your children--don't lecture, criticize, threaten, or say hurtful things. Your goal is
    to have a conversation and conversations involve at least two people. Almost every parent says at least 50% more than he or she should.

  • Repeat what you heard them say to ensure that you understand them correctly. This is important for both of you.

  • Soften strong reactions and don’t attack. Kids will tune you out if you appear angry or
    defensive. So take a deep breath before engaging your vocal cords.

  • Express your opinion without putting down theirs; acknowledge that it's okay to disagree. Show respect for your teen's opinions and hopefully they will show respect for yours.

  • Be yourself and don’t try to talk like your kids or their friends. Teens are smart and will see right through that. You’re a parent so talk like a parent.

  • Ask your children what they may want or need from you in a conversation. Are they asking for your advice or do they just need you to listen? (This is good advice in a marriage as well).

There is no recipe for perfect parenting. But it is encouraging to know that parents and teens can bridge the communication gap with a dash of patience and a big scoop of respect. And above all, remember children are never too old to be told that they are loved.