A Holiday Survival Guide for the Newly Divorced

Divorce – you’ve got company. In fact you are part of the 19 million divorced adults in this country alone. But although the statistics say you aren’t alone, the loneliness you feel during the holidays begs to differ. The holidays can be a painful time when experiencing the sadness associated with divorce.

Here are a few tips from AskDrShook to help you ease the sting of the festivities.

1. Chart the Course: Look for and plan activities that are fun, relaxing, and stress reducing with friends who bring a smile to your face.



2. Respect Past Traditions: If you and your kids always spent Christmas Eve with your ex-spouse’s parents, let your kids continue this even though it means you won’t be included. Although tough on you, placing the priority on your children is a win-win.



3. Create New Traditions: Your imagination is your only limitation on this one.



4. Engage the Support System: Surround yourself with friends and other family members and don’t isolate yourself. Spend time with people who are invested in helping you get the most out of life.



5. Alone days – You won't be able to avoid them so consider volunteering for a charity, schedule a spa day, read that book you haven’t had time for, jump into a home project you have been putting off (painting a room, refinish a table), start a hobby…



6. Take Care of Yourself: Now is not the time to drown yourself in holiday fudge or self-medicate with adult beverages. It may feel great while you are indulging, but will cause more problems in the long run.



7. Don’t Give into your Inner Scrooge: Just because you are alone doesn’t mean you can’t have a tree, bake holiday cookies, or decorate. Hang that stocking from the chimney with care.



8. Be Realistic: There is no such thing as a “perfect” holiday. Examine your own expectations and dial them down a notch or perhaps two.
   

When it comes to navigating the holiday season after a divorce, balance is the key. Stress and negative feelings are bound to surface, so making time to do the activities you enjoy is essential. Put forth your best effort to relax and celebrate to the best of your abilities.

Ask Dr Shook offers practical advice and information on regaining your life after a divorce in the Divorce Recovery Specialty Track.